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I've been listening to old tapes (yes tapes) of a band I used to sing in called Ghistor.

We had alot of songs, I wrote most of the lyrics. Most of the songs were a projections of my angst or tales of unrequited love.

Here's a few songs:

Song 1: October

Spent today alone again
my music turned up loud
hoping that the sound
would drown away the
pain I feel inside.

Got my self esteem so low.
Regret's the only thing I know.

I dont' care, I figured you out.
You don't know what I'm about.
I give up, I quit, I tried...
There's no angry way to cry....

And my heart is just a joke
And my life is just a game I play
I've been waiting for something to go right
some how things don't ever change.

I can't be your hero, cause I cannot save myself.
There's no easy way to let me down, no gentle rejection.
No more blank stares at point blank
No more enemies to thank

I dont' care, I figured you out.
You don't know what I'm about.
I give up, I quit, I tried...
There's no angry way to cry....

And my heart is just a joke
And my life is just a game I play
I've been waiting for something to go right
some how things don't ever change.

I can't hide the way I feel about you
It's killing me everyday that I'm without you
And I can't hide the way I feel about you
It's killing me everyday that I'm without you now

I'm without you now
I'm without you now
I'm without you now

I tried everything to make you mine
I tried everything, we had good times
You said I don't know a thing about you
Can't you see it's killing me?

I'm without you now
I'm without you now
I'm without you now



Song 2: Heritage

Go Slow
Go Oh so slow

My room is quiet
My head is cluttered
Our plans for tonight
are reruns of yesterday's
I sit by the phone
and I waste my breath
stare out the window
as I wait for a ride.

On my own time, I pick up the slack, yeah!
In my own way, I pay you back
and if I say, you're my friend
will you turn around and do it again?
Would you do it again?

This I know,
you must go, oh so slow.

We pull in the parking lot
You pull up a chair
Smoke fills my lungs
I sip your caffeine
My pockets are empty
just like this conversation
We spent all our friendship
just to pay for the check.

On my own time, I pick up the slack, yeah!
In my own way, I pay you back
and if I say, you're my friend
will you turn around and do it again?
Would you do it again?

I can't talk loud enough
I can't speak clear enough
I can not believe you
No, I can't , No, I can't ever forgive.





Song 3: Guilt Theory


HEY, HEY, HELP!
HEY, HEY, HELP!
Cause what you did, OH NO,
It's just not fair!

I see you shifting in your seat
In a room of empty chairs
Hoping our eyes don't ever meet
I catch you in a nervous stare

Maybe you're right
Maybe I'm the fool
Just say it to my face
I'll lose my cool
Just prove me wrong
excuses are so thin
Just prove me wrong
heaven help me

HEY, HEY, HELP!
HEY, HEY, HELP!
Cause what you did, OH NO,
It's just not fair!

I gave a push
and got a shove
You sank my ship
before it sailed.
You tortured me
with words of love.
You made me chase my tail.

Maybe you're right
Maybe I'm the fool
Just say it to my face
I'll lose my cool
Just prove me wrong
excuses are so thin
Just prove me wrong
and work against me

Now I'll throw away the strings
The ones that used to tie my tongue
Now that you ruined everything
Apologies will never come

Maybe you're right
Maybe I'm the fool
Just say it to my face
I'll lose my cool
Just prove me wrong
excuses are so thin
Just prove me wrong
Cause I KNOW!

What they want to do
is hang me up on you
What they want to do
is hang me up on you

Yeah

I think you want a handshake
I think you need a handshake
you think you need this handshake
yeah, yeah right.





Song #4: Box of Personal Best

She's a walking contradiction
who speaks without a voice
she's everything to no-one
My tragic comedy

Her big red wooden shoes
Used to walk upon my pride
Any other man in my place
would beg to kiss their ground

And all the letters that I kept
Stuffed the pillows where I wept
Wishing she would want me
I waited for a sign

And if I shut my eyes
And I squeezed them tight
I could see her blur my vision one last time
before she fades away

Shes the center of attention
A sweet and crooked smile
A precious golden trophy
That I could never win

But I still have the past
And late at night I scream her name
Even when I've talked all day
I have more to say
There's little left of me
that hasn't gone numb
I bet she's listening and
thinking this is great.

And if I shut my eyes
And I squeezed them tight
I could see her blur my vision one last time
before she fades away

And I cant wash away
the stain of lipstick on my shirt
I still lose my head
Every time they play our song
I've done everything
to give her all the space she needs
And now I feel alone
even in a crowded room.

And if I shut my eyes
And I squeezed them tight
I could see her blur my vision one last time
before she fades away

She fades away.


Song #5: Little Angel

Though I'm standing on this stage
When I'm without you girl
the world becomes a cage

So I sit and wait so patiently
Wishing for the day you'll float
right back to me

Don't go away yet
My little angel
I'm not ashamed to say
I think you're great
Don't float away

I can't play this game
your roller coaster ride
you say you love me
then you run away and hide
And when you've dissed me
for the 14 millionth time
you'll call again because
I'm stuck inside your mind

Don't go away yet
My little angel
I'm not ashamed to say
I think you're great
Don't float away

I feel my heartbeat
with your skin
I've touched your face with hands
that are still shaking
And though you're running out of smiles
I pray I'm in your heart, at least a little while

Don't go away yet
My little angel
I'm not ashamed to say
you belong with me
Don't float away


Song # 6: Doormat

It's last call
and I just want to drink you in
You didn't know that I'd be back again.
Don't waste your precious conversation.
Don't waste your time, I'm just a doormat.

Step on anywhere.
Step on any way.
Step on anywhere you please.
You will always be, a step ahead of me
and I can't get you in my dreams.

There's a subtlety in the way you look past me.
I'm just your tool to get attention.
You're side tracked, the conversation is getting thin,
I try to hold on but you're not interested.

Step on anywhere.
Step on any way.
Step on anywhere you please.
You will always be, a step ahead of me
and I can't get you in my dreams.

If I wait till closing time,
will you open up your mind?
If I ever break this ice, will you stay?

Step on anywhere.
Step on any way.
Step on anywhere you please.
You will always be, a step ahead of me
and I can't get you in my dreams.

It's my last drink, the lights slowly getting dim
I'm all alone and disappointed.
It's a slow walk,
My minds getting heavy now
you weigh me down till I pass out.

Step on anywhere.
Step on any way.
Step on anywhere you please.
You will always be, a step ahead of me
and I can't get you in my dreams.

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Unstiched

Here we go again
Another game, another hint
waiting for my luck to change
I lost my grip

It's hard to admit
I've come unstiched
I'll fall apart without you now
I've come unstiched

Sometimes I go too far
Somtimes I step right in
Someday you'll understand
where I end and you begin
You can't make up your mind
The superficial seems so right
You think that I'd only tie you down
BUT I SET YOU FREE

Now I'm the one
Who's suffering
You got your time
You got your wish

I won't forgive you two
you were wrong, that' so true
this time it's up to you to change
I know you'll stay the same

It's hard to admit
I've come unstiched
I'll fall apart without you now
I've come unstiched

Hung up
I slipped
I lost my grip
I've come unstiched

I tried,
you lied
I said "tough shit"
I've come unstiched

Hung up
I slipped
I lost my grip
I've come unstiched
Gone Into Empty

I got seven bullets
don't blink now
there's a hole in me
a quarter round

Never, no I can't go on
I'm bruised
See it go now, it's gone
Gone into empty
Gone into empty


There's nothing left
no more to take
One less decision
I've got to make
I've heard it all
No need for more
All my cries have been ignored
Gone into empty

My hands shake
they tremble
soft and pure you look to me
Your eyes are guns
they shot my soul
I bled, I bleed, I'm empty

Gone into empty
Gone into empty

There's nothing left
no more to take
One less decision
I've got to make
I've heard it all
No need for more
All my cries have been ignored
Gone into empty
Post the audio!!!!!
I would but, I'd rather have the bands consent-

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